I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
