It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
