Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
