I cockslap morals
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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