did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize