therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
50% drunk capacity currently
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
