I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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