I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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