How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
