is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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