Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
