So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
