Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
