Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
