like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
