I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you inspire me to be a worse person
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
