Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
