Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
