I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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