How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
As shirtless as possible
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
