i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
