He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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