ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
