well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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