The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
