There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
