His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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