I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
