waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
