I looked at my own cervix.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
