I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
