Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
