Can i not drive my cunt home
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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