ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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