I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
