shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
