And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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