is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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