Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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