his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
