I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
