i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
