I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
