just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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