omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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