Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
