You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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