That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
