Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
