i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
